Everything You Need to Know about Emotional Intelligence
We all probably know people who are excellent listeners, either in a personal capacity or at work. Regardless of what kind of situation they're in, they always seem to know what to say and how to say it so that no one around them gets upset or offended. They're considerate and caring, and even if there’s no immediate solution to the problem at hand, their words leave a feeling of hope and optimism in their wake.
We probably also know individuals who are experts at managing and controlling their emotions. They don't lose their temper in stressful and demanding situations. Rather, they're able to look at a problem and come up with a solution calmly. They are great decision-makers and know when to trust their gut. Regardless of their strengths, they are generally willing to take an honest look at themselves. They handle criticism graciously and know when to use it to improve their performance.
People like this have a high level of emotional intelligence. According to the Oxford Dictionary, emotional intelligence is "the ability to understand your emotions and those of other people and to behave in an appropriate way in different situations."
In this article, we will look at everything you need to know about emotional intelligence.
The Premise: What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify your emotions, know what they're trying to tell you, and understand how your emotions influence others around you. It also encompasses your perception of other individuals: when you understand how they feel, you're in a better position to manage relationships more effectively.
What Are the Features of Emotional Intelligence?
Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, created a framework of five elements that characterize emotional intelligence. These include:
● Self-awareness
● Self-regulation
● Motivation
● Empathy
● Social skills.
Self-Awareness
Individuals with high emotional intelligence are generally quite self-aware. Self-awareness refers to the ability to recognize emotions, feelings, and moods. Part of self-awareness entails being aware of how your moods and emotions impact other people. The ability to keep a check on your own emotional states is a primary requirement for emotional intelligence.
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to control impulses and emotions. Emotionally intelligent people take ownership of their actions. Rather than searching for people to blame when things go wrong, they can admit when they're at fault.
Self-regulation also means being able to respond constructively when others are upset or angry. Instead of becoming defensive and retaliating, an emotionally intelligent individual will take some time to reflect. They think about what they're going to say before saying it and know how to appropriately express themselves in various social situations.
Motivation
Emotionally intelligent individuals are highly motivated to accomplish their goals. According to research published in Behavioral Sciences, these people can manage their feelings and behaviors in order to accomplish long-term success.
Even though emotionally intelligent people might feel nervous about bringing a change in their lives, they are fully aware that managing this fear is vital. They also know that by taking a leap and making a change, they can improve their lives and move one step closer to achieving their goals.
Empathy
Emotionally intelligent individuals take a genuine interest in how others feel and think. Rather than feeling judged by, threatened by, or in competition with others, they appreciate people's differences and connect with them. They can observe their actions, empathize with their mindset and withhold judgment when required.
In addition, emotionally intelligent individuals can even anticipate the emotional responses of others. They can understand why people feel the way they do and view the world with a developed understanding of social norms. This is particularly helpful in building meaningful and lasting relationships with the people around you.
Social Skills
Emotionally intelligent individuals tend to have impressive social skills, probably because they're so attuned to their own feelings as well as those of others. They are experts in dealing with people and are invested in maintaining healthy social relationships and facilitating those around them to achieve success.
How Is Emotional Intelligence Measured?
There are numerous assessments to measure a person's emotional intelligence. These tests typically fall into two categories: self-report and ability tests.
Self-report tests are commonly used as they're the easiest to administer and score. Test-takers respond to statements or questions on tests like these by rating their behaviors. For instance, on a statement like "I generally feel that I comprehend how other people are feeling," a respondent might respond by checking any one of the options: strongly agree, agree, neutral, disagree, or strongly disagree.
Conversely, ability tests involve people responding to situations and evaluating their skills. These tests generally require people to indicate their abilities, which a third party then rates.
If you're taking an emotional intelligence test administered by a mental health professional, you might take any of the two tests:
● Mayor-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test: In this test, test-takers undertake tasks to evaluate their ability to identify, perceive, understand, and manage emotions.
● Emotional and Social Competence Inventory: This test is based on an older instrument known as the Self-Assessment Questionnaire and entails having people who know the individual offer a rating of that person's abilities in various emotional competencies. The test aims to assess the emotional and social abilities that differentiate people as strong and effective leaders.
Apart from that, there are plenty of other free informal online resources to assess your emotional intelligence.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence Beneficial in Personal Life?
Emotional intelligence is extremely beneficial as it allows us to understand and manage our emotions. This way, we can have a more optimistic attitude toward life and feel good about ourselves.
Here are some reasons highlighting the importance of emotional intelligence in our personal lives.
1. Makes Us Less Aggressive
Anger is a completely normal emotion. It is one of those basic human emotions that transcend social status, culture, and gender.
However, the truth is that anger can be dangerous, mainly when it results in conflicts involving physical or verbal aggression. The good news is that emotional intelligence can be an excellent solution for managing anger and keeping it under control.
Research published in the Journal of Adolescence revealed that intervention programs that harness emotional intelligence could lower aggressive behaviors and boost empathy among adolescents.
By working on your emotional intelligence, you're less likely to experience conflict or react in aggressive ways.
2. Allows Us to Navigate Social Situations Easily
For a lot of us, new social situations can lead to a certain degree of anxiety. It's completely normal to want to feel accepted within a group and enjoy pleasant social experiences.
However, the issue is that sometimes we get incredibly obsessed with how others perceive us. This makes us feel anxious.
Fortunately, emotional intelligence can benefit us significantly in such situations. For example, research published in the Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment revealed that people with high emotional intelligence experience less anxiety in social situations.
In plain words, they can adapt to new social situations quickly and navigate interpersonal relationships effectively.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important at Work?
Several mental health experts believe emotional intelligence is a valuable asset in the workplace. In certain environments, employees with high levels of emotional intelligence might be able to cooperate with others, manage work-related stress, and resolve conflicts more effectively. In this section, we explore some benefits of emotional intelligence in the workplace.
1. Better Teamwork
Employees with higher emotional intelligence generally work better as a team for numerous reasons. For instance, they can communicate better with team members than those who aren't in tune with their emotional intelligence. They share ideas and are open to other people's opinions. Moreover, they're less likely to completely overpower a situation and take control of circumstances without thinking of others first.
Such employees are more likely to trust their coworkers and value their input and ideas. When these people work in a team, they are considerate, thoughtful, and respectful, which are vital qualities for successful teamwork.
2. Higher Levels of Self-Awareness
When employees become more self-aware in their role, they can understand their strengths and weaknesses in a much better way. This enables them to be more realistic in setting their goals for development. It even ensures that they are more open to feedback, and rather than looking at it negatively, they use it as an opportunity to grow and become more effective in their job.
Reacting defensive to feedback is quite natural. It can make us feel as if we are being attacked personally. However, that's not true. The person giving us feedback is doing so to make sure we get the best out of our career and that we improve in our role to make the most out of it. When you have high emotional intelligence, your first reaction to emotional intelligence will be to accept it graciously and be thankful for the chance to improve.
3. Lower Stress
It's entirely normal for a workplace to feel stressful. That's an indicator of growth, facing new challenges, and moving towards new goals. Sadly, workplace stress can result in lower productivity and maladaptive behaviors.
Thankfully, this is one thing that emotional intelligence can help to address. People with high emotional intelligence can:
● Understand and control their negative feelings.
● Manage their reactions to other people's emotions.
● Feel accountable for their reactions.
● Engage in healthy interpersonal relationships.
● Manage their expectations.
How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Improving your emotional intelligence is all about mindset. You need to change the way you look at things so that you stay in control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. In this section, we look at some things you can do to improve your emotional intelligence.
1. Manage Your Negative Thoughts and Emotions
When you can manage and control your negative emotions, you are less likely to feel overwhelmed. For instance, don't jump to conclusions if someone is upsetting you. Rather, allow yourself to look at the situation from different perspectives. Try to look at things objectively, so you don't get riled up as easily. You can also practice mindfulness and see how your perspective changes.
2. Stay Mindful of Your Vocabulary
Focus on becoming a stronger communicator in your personal life and at work. Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can allow you to communicate deficiencies, and then they instantly work to overcome them. For instance, if you had a bad meeting with your manager, think of what made it so bad and what steps you can take to fix it. When you have clarity on what's going on, you are more likely to address the problem at hand.
3. Become Self-Aware
Learning how to increase emotional intelligence is about getting to know yourself. Embracing your feeling is your starting point for a lifelong journey of self-discovery. Emotional mastery encompasses self-awareness, where you don't just acknowledge your emotions but also realize their impact on your behaviors. As you become more self-aware, you become more self-accepting and empathetic towards others.
When you use self-awareness to cultivate emotional intelligence, you become your own inner manager. Rather than reacting to situations without understanding them, you are able to take control of what's driving you.
Last Few Words
Emotional intelligence refers to your ability to understand your emotions as well as of those around you and behave in an appropriate way in various situations. Having a high level of emotional intelligence is going to serve you well in your workplace, in your relationships, and in all other areas of your life.
Practicing mindfulness is an excellent way to gain perspective about your feelings so that you are better able to manage negative emotions and cultivate positive ones. As you develop an awareness of your feelings, you will be able to pay close attention to how you talk to yourself and others.
