5 Types of Relationships We Deserve (+ How to Form Them)
We have all heard the phrase, "no man is an island." However, the recent tech invasion keeps reducing the one-on-one time we spend with other people. Due to this, we have misconstrued the ideal types of relationships that we deserve (or often prioritize).
In other words, the influencers on your feed, the toxic friend you cling to, and the significant other you can't let go of aren't good for you. We need to break ties with the things and people that take away our time, attention, and energy from those who matter most.
So, what types of relationships do we deserve?
Everyone deserves a mentor, friend, supportive partner, and ally at work. Most importantly, we need to maintain a healthy relationship with our inner self. These bonds allow us to develop the social, professional, and wellness capabilities required to take on every challenge life throws our way.
Here are the five types of relationships we deserve:
1. Familial Relationships That Build You Up
We deserve families that give us space to grow yet, lend a helping hand when we falter.
We often take familial relationships for granted in our busy, digitally-inclined schedule. It can affect our mental and emotional wellbeing. Plus, if you're raising children, you might deprive them of the social skills, physical health, and mental wellness they require to become independent adults.
How to Build Stronger Family Relationships?
Family relationships require love, attention, and appreciation. Nurture these ties with the way you communicate and schedule your time.
Here are some tips to follow:
Allot mealtime or an hour before bed as family time to share a conversation that doesn't revolve around screens.
Plan recreational outings (like beach trips, hikes, staycations)
to connect with your family better.
Learn to accept differences instead of enforcing rules to help family members become well-rounded and independent individuals.
Schedule family meetings to make informed decisions about school, career, love life, and other meaningful moments.
It doesn't matter if you are a family of two or three, a multi-generational unit, or a group of friends who consider each other as family. These habits can work for all types of relationships in a familial setting.
Relationship Advice: Planning a digital detox schedule for your family might look challenging, but it's not impossible. These valuable strategies from Good Housekeeping help you maintain healthy screen-free relationships.
2. Friendships That Stand By Your Side
Pick up any friendship-focused fictional relationship and assess their bond. Be it the golden trio from Harry Potter or the infamous six FRIENDs; a healthy friendship can enrich your life and make you a better person.
Good friends also have some traits in common. They will:
Celebrate small and significant achievements with praises and treats.
Support each other through thick and thin.
Voice opinions when friends self-sabotage personal and professional relationships.
Check-in with you despite busy schedules.
Cheer you on and protect you whenever required.
You may think the loyalty, courage, and communication portrayed in fiction aren't realistic, but that's not true. We deserve friends with whom we can have at least a fraction of the iconic bonds we see on screen. You may not find them right away, but when you do, it will be worth it.
Therefore, you might want to focus on forming healthy friendships and cutting unwanted ones.
How to Build Better Friendships?
Building healthy friendships requires trust, sincerity, and effective communication. You deserve to have someone who has your back regardless of the situation—pals who allow you to vent, rant, and heal when life gets rough.
Unfortunately, most people you meet every day become notifications on your online social feeds over the years. These friends cancel plans with you for other priorities or sap your emotional energy because of their self-indulgent drama.
According to one friendship coach, "friendship circles shrink in the mid-twenties." It's the time when family duties and work obligations limit outings with friends. Moreover, you learn who cares to make time for you and who doesn't.
So how can you form friendships you do deserve?
Here's a do's and don't list to follow:
Stay in touch with friends who make time for you via text, regular meetings, and even a "thinking of you message."
Avoid friends who never ask about your life and text you whenever they need something.
Cherish the types of relationships that support your personal goals and remind you that you're not a liability.
Ditch friends who criticize your decisions without any logical reasoning.
In short, invest in friendships that make you feel good about yourself and grateful for your life. Even the smallest chats that spark creativity, warmth, and comfort are better than old friendships that have fizzled out.
Relationship Advice: Don't have any good friends? No worries. Befriending new people isn't as challenging if you know how to break the ice. Watch this independent TED Talk for valuable tips.
3.Supportive Partners Who Love and Respect You
Love at first sight, a summer romance, or a passionate affair, those things don't last long. When it comes to romantic partnerships, you can't build one on fictional tropes. On the contrary, we deserve partners that value our time, feelings, and personal growth.
Ask yourself: Does your partner treat you as a priority or an option?
It's a deal-breaker we rarely consider when we are head over heels in love. No matter what stage of romantic relationship you're in, the way your significant other treats you matters. All of us deserve someone considerate, caring, and supportive who allows us to express our feelings.
More importantly, you deserve a significant other who helps you become the best version of yourself. Whether you're pursuing career goals or working on personal development plans, a good partner supports your choices. They also respect your opinions even if they have a different perspective.
How to Pursue Positive Relationships?
A good partner makes you feel loved, cherished, and even confident. Invest in romantic companionships that make you feel this way.
More often than not, you wind up with the wrong person. Yet, some part of us clings to the hope that our significant other will change. Well, guess what? It's probably not going to happen!
The wrong sort will compel you to "settle for less" because they cherry-pick your insecurities and manipulate the situation. They will call you hypersensitive, irrationally emotional, and other names when you point this out. Doing so will make you believe that you made up the situation.
It's a typical sign of gaslighting that many know "All Too Well." According to some viewers, Taylor Swift's short film works as a crash course on common signs of gaslighting. If the depicted story reminds you about your partner, you might want to reconsider your relationship.
If you are with a toxic person, it's best to cut the cord sooner rather than later.
How can you tell if you're in a toxic relationship, though? More importantly, how do you build a better relationship when you're used to unkind love?
Use these signs to nudge you in the right direction:
Build a relationship that revolves around lust, not love.
Significant others that can't be bothered about life outside the bedroom aren't worth your time. We deserve partners that value our input, celebrate our victories, and spend quality time with us at the end of the day.
That's because if you want to take the relationship down the aisle, you should be confident that it won't crumble past the honeymoon phase.
Stop making excuses for narcissistic behavior
Does every conversation revolve around your partner? It's a classic don't go past the first date sign. Significant others that focus on themselves instead of you will never put you first. They treat your presence as a way to boost their ego.
Narcissistic behavior often drains you emotionally and makes you feel unworthy. It's why you should avoid it at all costs. Look for a partner who values your opinion, asks follow-up questions about your day, and never forces you to do things their way.
Never cut off other types of relationships.
Spending too much time with a partner isn't good either. It's why we listed romantic partnerships after familial and healthy friendships. Love, while important, shouldn't shove others away.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean isolating yourself from the people you love. Despite having the ideal partner, you should make plans with friends and family. The time apart will ensure that you (and your SO) invest in personal growth.
Lastly, any romantic partnership that makes you feel unhappy isn't worth your time. You need to stop making excuses for them. Instead, gain the confidence to break up before this person breaks your inner spirit.
Relationship Advice: Are you ready to break things off with someone not-so-special?
Here's an insightful article from the Times that takes you through the steps.
4. Business Relationships That Lead to Achievements
Work relationships are among the more underrated types of relationships on this list. We often think about them less because our professional life revolves more around projects than people.
We might choose to keep our head down, work, time out, and then head home. Yet, this behavior can be our downfall. That's because we can't go far in professional life without mentors and allies.
According to an article on Forbes:
"We are less burned out and have greater wellbeing when our team and organization provide us with a sense of belonging and community. "
Are you wondering why? For starters, you spend a significant amount of time corresponding with your colleagues for work purposes. Without meaningful interactions, you may not know who to ask for help when you're stuck in a project. Additionally, managers might overlook your accomplishments if you don't speak up during meetings or let someone else take the credit for your ideas.
Therefore, you might want to step out of the cubicle and pay extra attention to "water cooler conversations."
How to Build Good Work Relationships?
Build positive work relationships by boosting team morale by praising achievements and offering help. Seek guidance from supervisors, and form well-meaning friendships with colleagues. These interactions result in job satisfaction and improved success rates.
That's because the people that work together can professionally grow together.
Here's a closer look at how to improve these types of relationships:
Ensure effective communication to make cross-functional collaborations easier.
Build a good rapport with coworkers to avoid the mentally draining drama that inhibits productivity.
Form healthy friendships at work based on mutual trust and respect to bring your A-game to meetings and presentations.
Promote knowledge-sharing by playing the role of a mentor for interns and team members.
Arrange lunch dates and team activities that don't involve work.
More importantly, promote positive corporate culture and relationships that significantly impact our mental health and wellness.
Work relationships are a two-way street. You get respect, positive energy, and help only when you put in the same amount of effort.
Relationship Advice: Watch this step-by-step guide on "Work Relationships" and ways to improve them.
5. A Mindful Relationship with Yourself
A self-care related sign
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
-Stephen Chbosky
The types of relationships we discussed above can't beat the one you have with your inner self. When all's said and done, you're left alone with your thoughts. It would help you become self-aware of your strengths, weaknesses, and emotions. Make time to ensure negative self-talk doesn't dictate your actions.
Anxiety-ridden thoughts, critical self-talk, and doubts can sabotage your life. You do it for a variety of reasons. These include unaddressed childhood trauma, unloving relationships, and low self-esteem. Chasing perfection often does more harm than good.
You might push positive people away because of past relationships and unflattering self-assumptions.
Hence, it would help if you committed to yourself before investing in others.
How to Practice Self-Love?
Self-care, personal development plans, and mindfulness are ways to practice self-love. The key lies in scheduling "me-time" that allows you to reflect on your journey and plan for a healthier, happier, and more rewarding future.
Here are some tips to follow:
Adopt healthy habits to ensure you are physically and mentally fit.
It includes everything from good hygiene, well-balanced meals, physical activity to 8 hours of sleep.
Make time for recreational activities or even purposeful ones.
Whether you do it alone or with loved ones, make space for mind-boosting activities. Hobbies like reading, painting, dancing, puzzles, crocheting, and dancing are a good start. Even a few minutes playing daily word games (a la Wordle) can be the "positive immersion" you need to keep going.
Practice gratitude and journaling for at least 5 mins a day.
Spending mornings/nights in self-reflection can help you gain a new perspective in life. When you're grateful for small achievements, you learn to discard the minor hiccups you experience during the day. Additionally, you begin to let go of negative emotions and welcome positive ones.
Create personal development plans (PDPs).
Everyone needs a roadmap or direction to move from point A to B. If you think of life as a journey, you'll understand the importance of PDPs. Jotting to-achieve lists allows you to focus on proactive tasks and eliminate non-essential ones. Doing so makes it easier to achieve more and lead a stress-free life.
Lastly, spend quality time with loved ones to cultivate the types of relationships you deserve. In this way, it's an interdependent connection that begins with your self-worth and the people you keep in your life.
Relationship Advice: Looking for more self-care practices? Psychology Today elaborates on self-love here.
In a Nutshell
Everyone deserves five types of relationships in life. Your social circle begins with a good self-relationship, familial ties, healthy friendships, and loving companionship. In addition to this, you should foster positive work relationships to climb the career ladder.
There might be times when you won't have people that fill these roles. It's why having a close-knitted community and practicing self-love play a pivotal role in life. The right people and mindset can fill in the gaps. Subsequently, they can help you become the best version of yourself.
What's your take on relationships? Self-reflect and practice the art of building relationships you deserve and letting go of ones you don't.
